I moved to a new apartment in Milwaukee about a month and a half ago. Finally moving back to living alone after a year of living with five different roommates at different times was a breath of fresh air. Setting up my new place to be exactly what I wanted it to be was the start of a new beginning. Even if I did decide to stay in Milwaukee.
I decided to stay in Milwaukee because, though I definitely needed a fresh start, that fresh start needed to happen within myself, which required stability. That fresh start happened on a whim, even before I moved, because the void was such a huge hole within me that I was finally driven to start writing again. I needed to get it out somehow, onto paper (albeit digital).
That writing was even published on The Financial Diet, an online blog/publication that showcases articles written by its founder/staff and its readers alike that discuss anything related to personal financing, self-discovery, and other such essays. It has become a personal favorite, and many of the articles on that website have helped me gain better focus even on the days where I feel completely lost. The article I wrote, Some Thoughts on Settling Down After 9 Years of Living an Unstructured, Nomadic Life, was a perfect example of me showcasing some of my thoughts on my own self-discovery and financial woes.
Writing this article, though written back in July, sparked a fire in me to start writing again. Though it took me until this moment to actually start writing again (mostly because I’ve been spending my time working and getting settled into my new places painting a table I’ve been meaning to for the longest time and hanging up photos that have been collecting dust for over two years), I am so excited to finally turn to these digital pages to nurture my writing artistic self.
So, why this blog? Why share this with the world?
I originally started this blog as a way to document my travels and my global citizenship experiences. However, if I’m being honest, the last couple years of graduate school nearly killed me. My whole life become completely consumed with school and work. My success was my identity, and though I have posted every once and awhile over the last couple of years, it’s no secret that I lost my writing voice over the couple of years, and as a result, my writing was put on the back burner.
So, why did I leave in the first place? Well, truth be told, not only did I lose my writing voice, but I also lost my identity. Well, at the very least it felt very much like I lost my identity. Grad school pushed me in ways that I was not prepared for, and in the midst of all of that I went through some terrible relationships, lost friendships, and completely lost my sense of faith (I’ve talked on this blog before about how I used to define myself as a Christian. I honestly don’t know how I define myself anymore. That’s something that I hope to explore again). All this to say is that I started to feel empty, wandering about, feeling the void.
I’ve also been honest on this blog about how I struggle with an anxiety disorder and the occasional depression.
But now that it has been a little over a month since I graduated with my Masters degree, I’m looking to truly breathe again, to welcome new experiences, to open myself up again, and best and most of all, to re-identify myself.
Every time I think about who I am, I think primarily of two things: that my identity is ever-evolving and that I long so much to be a part of this world and in relationship with the Being that created it. I long so much to be the true global citizen that I’ve always claimed to be, but this time I am really choosing to sink my teeth in and work towards discovering what that truly means.
Being a global citizen to me is something I’m still trying to figure out, but I know for a fact that it involves some of the following, all of which are things that I’m going to seek to write about and turn the focus of this blog towards:
- rediscovering my love for humanity (helping people, building relationships, and connecting across cultures)
- challenging myself to live a sustainable and eco-friendly life, as is absolutely possible
- continue to discover the world through travel and discovery (locally, nationally, and internationally)
- continue allowing myself to be personally vulnerable through posting whatever is on my mind, including poems and ramblings that I’ve written
I am not perfect, nor will my writing ever be. I am not really sure what the ultimate goal of this blog will be, but what I do know is that I need writing in my life. I need to write about my new global citizenship journey.
It’s absolutely necessary.