I wake up every day feeling as though my struggles define me. I feel the weight of them in the first few moments that I wake up, and honestly, I feel them in the few moments before I fall asleep too. It’s a terrible and terrifying experience. I hate feeling like my life is out of control and out of my control. It’s kind of really the worst.

However, today, when I woke up, I just breathed, and I decided that I hate feeling this way. My life feels out of control because, as my counselor puts it, I take too much responsibility for other people’s actions. I also have a tendency to over worry about the things that I cannot control. Yes, I do both of these things. I will admit it. It’s kind of scary admitting these things, but there they are. I’ll admit that I’ve been sucking a bit at life recently.

Continue reading “My happiness project.”

I’m supposed to be moving to Paris at the end of August/beginning of September. Supposed to be. It’s a shame that I haven’t heard anything from my program yet about my enrollment nor have I heard anything yet about my visa application status. But such is life. In fact, this whole situation reminds me of the the second time that I was preparing to go to France and how stressful going through all of this process was.

It brings back some nostalgia for me.

Continue reading “Paris? Yeah, Paris.”