So, yesterday marked 3 months before I leave for France, and I have to be honest. The closer it gets, the more real it becomes, and the more nervous I become about the whole thing, the traveling, the teaching, the speaking of a foreign language, etc. I must admit that I’m a little overwhelmed, especially because I have yet to receive my contract and because I’m only halfway to my savings goal. It’s at this point that I have to tell myself to take deep breaths. Everything is going to work out alright, right? Well, I know that to be logically true, however, my emotional self is having a mini heart attack.
Not having my contract yet is not abnormal. In fact, from what I’ve found out and observed, only a handful of assistants have received their contracts. So, my logical brain tells me that it’s totally fine and that I need to relax. On the other hand though, my emotional brain tells me that I still have so much to accomplish before I take off, and I need my contract to accomplish the majority of the the things on my “things to do” list. Again, deep breaths.
In addition to not having my contract, I’m still only halfway to my savings goal. I keep telling myself that so much can happen in three months and that it is highly likely that I will make my goal by the time September rolls around, especially if I continue to have generous donors donate to my Go Fund Me page (here: http://www.gofundme.com/tmj8n4). It was due to the generosity of my donors that I was able to purchase my plane tickets and that I will be able to purchase my train ticket once I know where my placement is.
As a believer, I’m still trying my best to remember that God will provide for me. I just have to remember to trust, even when and especially when things are not in my control.
In addition to both of these things, I’m feeling overwhelmed by the whole prospect of moving back to France in general. Yes, I have lived in France before, but it’s been over two years since then. This time is also different. I was a student then, with the majority of the logistics being taken care of for me. Though I’m excited to have a lot more freedom this time around, it also makes me quite nervous. It’s becoming a reality, and this is both so exciting and oh so terrifying!
So, I suppose that deep breaths and daily reminders to myself to chill out need to become my constant companions. Everything will be fine, and everything will work out. I’m just so excited and nervous! This is an opportunity of a lifetime, and I want to make sure that it works out the best way that it possibly can.
Hopefully the next time I will blog, it will be because I have received my contract. Let’s hope that’s the case. Until then,
A plus mes amis!