Deep Breaths.

So, yesterday marked 3 months before I leave for France, and I have to be honest. The closer it gets, the more real it becomes, and the more nervous I become about the whole thing, the traveling, the teaching, the speaking of a foreign language, etc. I must admit that I’m a little overwhelmed, especially because I have yet to receive my contract and because I’m only halfway to my savings goal. It’s at this point that I have to tell myself to take deep breaths. Everything is going to work out alright, right? Well, I know that to be logically true, however, my emotional self is having a mini heart attack.

Not having my contract yet is not abnormal. In fact, from what I’ve found out and observed, only a handful of assistants have received their contracts. So, my logical brain tells me that it’s totally fine and that I need to relax. On the other hand though, my emotional brain tells me that I still have so much to accomplish before I take off, and I need my contract to accomplish the majority of the the things on my “things to do” list. Again, deep breaths.

In addition to not having my contract, I’m still only halfway to my savings goal. I keep telling myself that so much can happen in three months and that it is highly likely that I will make my goal by the time September rolls around, especially if I continue to have generous donors donate to my Go Fund Me page (here: http://www.gofundme.com/tmj8n4). It was due to the generosity of my donors that I was able to purchase my plane tickets and that I will be able to purchase my train ticket once I know where my placement is.

As a believer, I’m still trying my best to remember that God will provide for me. I just have to remember to trust, even when and especially when things are not in my control.

In addition to both of these things, I’m feeling overwhelmed by the whole prospect of moving back to France in general. Yes, I have lived in France before, but it’s been over two years since then. This time is also different. I was a student then, with the majority of the logistics being taken care of for me. Though I’m excited to have a lot more freedom this time around, it also makes me quite nervous. It’s becoming a reality, and this is both so exciting and oh so terrifying!

So, I suppose that deep breaths and daily reminders to myself to chill out need to become my constant companions. Everything will be fine, and everything will work out. I’m just so excited and nervous! This is an opportunity of a lifetime, and I want to make sure that it works out the best way that it possibly can.

Hopefully the next time I will blog, it will be because I have received my contract. Let’s hope that’s the case. Until then,

A plus mes amis!

A

The real side of a dream

Today, I finally had the chance to sit down and read through the Assistant Handbook that TAPIF sent to me and all the other assistants. This is a fantastic help because it outlines basically everything I would need to know or want to know about what I need to do beforehand as well as after I get there. I feel quite informed after having read it, but I also feel quite overwhelmed by all of it. The amount of paperwork that will need to be taken care of is enough to make a girl pull her hair out. So, needless to say, where I didn’t feel stress before, I now feel little bits of stress and worry tugging away at me.

Though the stress does exist, I’m trying to remain positive. I just have to come to grips with the fact that the first couple of months are going to be overwhelming and probably a struggle, but I’ll be in France! I’ll be living my dream, and quite frankly, even though I’ll be doing all of that in another country, it will be nice to be able to start actually living in the adult world. I can honestly say that I still don’t fully understand how the adult world works yet, and though I’m terrified to find out, I think it will be really good for me. I’m ready to start truly living my life, despite all of the headaches it may come with. In addition to trying to have that perspective, it feels so wonderful to have an online community of current and previous assistants willing to help each other out and answer each other’s questions. It helps me to feel that I have something to fall back on and that I’m not going through this whole process alone, because I’m not. There’s a 1,000 others going through the same things that I am (that’s about how many assistants go to France every year. crazy, right?).

So, all of that to say, with today being the first of June, it’s time for me to start moving farther into the logistical side of things. I still don’t have my contract or anything, but I can start booking my doctor appointments and maybe even my visa appointment (though I probably will wait a week or two to do that. They advise that you book your appointment two months ahead of time). I’m not going to lie. I hate logistics. They are overwhelming and stressful, but I know that it will all be worth it. This experience is going to be an opportunity of a lifetime. I know that, and I’m up for the challenge of all the difficulties that come with it.

So, i’m still waiting patiently for that contract and dreaming of France and a new life in the meantime….

Until I have more updates, a plus mes amis!

P.S. I’m still raising money on my go fund me page ( http://www.gofundme.com/tmj8n4). If you consider donating, I will be forever grateful and the amount of money that I’ve received so far has been a huge help. I’ve been able to book my flights. The money will go towards logistical matters, like transportation, housing, food, and medicine for my hypothyroidism. Thanks friends!